Break Me
by ShellSueD
Summary: Ranger tries to repair a broken relationship with his daughter. Completely Alternate Universe (so this is not Julie)
1. Chapter 1

_AN: This is a very different story for me. Completely AU – normally I don't write or read stories where S/R are married with kids, but this wouldn't stay out of my head. Let me know what you think._

_JE owns all the rights to any familiar characters_

_Credit for the title goes to Jewel_

_##########_

* * *

Ranger watched as his daughter twisted her long curly hair around the index finger on her left hand and pushed her eggs around her plate with the fork gripped in her right.

She hadn't eaten a bite in ten minutes and hadn't spoken a word in over twenty.

The clock, hung crookedly over the kitchen sink, ticked loudly - mocking him.

He searched desperately for something to say. "You could have just told me you wanted pancakes," he blurted stupidly, wincing even before all the words were out of his mouth.

"What?" she asked without looking up.

"I would have made you something else if you didn't want eggs today," he clarified.

Her eyes lifted briefly and were back to inspecting her neglected breakfast before Ranger even registered it had happened.

"They're fine," she mumbled and pushed them around some more.

"Yeah, I see your plate and fork are enjoying them immensely," he countered.

She dropped the fork and it clanged shrilly onto the china. "I guess I'm not very hungry."

"You have to eat something," he insisted.

Her head snapped up at that and she let the twisted hair around her finger fall back into place. Anger burned red in her fiery brown eyes. "I don't really think I need good nutrition lectures from you," she growled, looking pointedly at his plate.

He looked down at his own untouched breakfast. She got him good with that one. "Okay," he said and picked up his fork. In direct challenge, he scooped up a heap of eggs and shoved them into his mouth while she watched.

She only rolled her eyes, just like her Mother, and began moving her food around in random patterns again.

Ranger sighed internally and swallowed the now cold, rubbery eggs. He set his fork down quietly next to his plate.

"So," he tried again for something to say that wouldn't make her hate him more than she already did. "Only three more days of school before Christmas vacation and then two whole weeks of blessed freedom. Did you dig out your ski clothes from storage?"

Her fork froze in mid push and her whole body tensed at the question.

"I know Nicky is raring to go, he's had his clothes out for weeks," Ranger babbled on.

"No," she answered slowly. Her voice sounded thick, and harsh. "I'm not going skiing this year."

Panic seized Ranger's heart, squeezing it like a vise. "What?" He questioned incredulously "We always go skiing."

"Well not this year," she said bitterly.

"Oh, you're going," he informed her. "If I have to tie you up with the skis on top of the truck, you're going." The hollow pit in his stomach grew ever bigger as they stared each other down.

"You can't make me!" She suddenly screamed and pushed away from the table, standing up. "I don't even like to ski!"

"Since when?" Ranger shot back with a scream of his own. "You've been skiing since you were old enough to walk! And who was it that just _had_ to have the new ski suit last year? The pink one? With the blue trim? Who was that?! It wasn't your brother and it definitely wasn't me!"

Her fists clenched tightly at her sides and she nearly shook with anger. "I don't want to ski anymore!" she ground out. "I'm late for school," she added and ran from the kitchen.

"Natalie! _Wait_!" Ranger called after her. Regret weighed him down as he attempted to chase her through the house. Every conversation the two of them had these days ended in a screaming match and he didn't know why, or how to fix it.

"Wait!" He tried again. "I'll drive you!" He offered as he saw her reach the front door.

"I'll take the bus," she yelled and he flinched as the door slammed behind her, shaking the walls of the house.

Ranger took a seat back at the kitchen table and pushed his plate away before he dropped his head down on the wood with a loud groan.

"I'm a terrible Father," he muttered into the place mat.

"The worst," Stephanie agreed. "I don't know how it is that you were allowed to procreate."

A small smile crept across his lips and he slowly lifted his head to meet the twinkling blue eyes of his wife.

"She hates me."

"No she doesn't."

"She blames me."

Stephanie was silent for a moment as she took in his statement. "Well, why shouldn't she? You blame yourself."

Ranger frowned and bit the corner of his bottom lip. "No I don't. I blame Morelli."

Now it was Steph's turn to smile. "No you don't."

"I do a little."

Stephanie shook her head and rolled her eyes. "She's a teenager, Ranger. You do remember what it was like to be a teenager, don't you?"

"Vaguely. But you know that this is more than teenage hormones run amok."

"I know," she agreed.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Babe," he whispered as tears abruptly filled his eyes. "She's completely shut me out."

Stephanie reached across the space between them and covered his hand gently with her own. "You never stop trying," she commanded fiercely. "You continue to chip away and eventually those walls she's built up will have to come tumbling down."

"Like they did with you," he said softly.

"Exactly." She squeezed his hand just as a noisy crash sounded to the left.

Ranger's head whipped around and he saw his daughter standing over a broken lamp she'd apparently knocked off the table by the doorway.

Natalie swallowed hard and tried to blink away the sudden rush of tears that flooded her eyes.

"I left my back pack," she choked out and reached under the table for the forgotten book bag.

She grabbed it quickly and once again ran for the front door leaving the pile of broken ceramic scattered on the floor.

########

* * *

"Is she coming?" Lula wanted to know.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Ranger warned and ran a hand wearily through his hair.

"But she loves our Christmas Eve party," Lula protested and popped a piece of cheese into her mouth.

"Yeah, well she doesn't love much of anything these days," Ranger muttered and took a sip of Lula's famous eggnog.

"Is she still refusing to go on the ski trip?"

"Well, if you consider burning her ski suit in the fireplace refusing, then yeah."

"Yikes." Lula made a face. "I bet that stunk up the whole house."

"Yes it did, but Ella worked her magic and now it's back to normal."

"Ella is a fuckin' genius," Lula declared. "She did the same thing here when Drew let that skunk loose in the house."

Ranger allowed himself to smile. That had been one of the funniest things he'd ever witnessed. Tank and Lula's son had been so proud when he brought that skunk home. "I escued da kitty!" He'd exclaimed and let the thing go where it immediately began spraying everything in sight, including Lula's brand new Jimmy Choo boots. Steph, Lula and Natalie had all run outside screaming as he, Tank and Joe tried to capture the poor animal. Lula still bitches about those boots.

"So, where is she this time?" Lula interrupted his jog down memory lane.

"Melissa's. _Supposedly_," Ranger answered before chugging the rest of his eggnog.

"I don't like that girl." Lula frowned. "She's is just inordinately perky...in a deeply terrifying way. Nobody can be that happy all the time."

Ranger chuckled. "Yeah, that's what Steph said too."

"Well it's true," Lula went on. "It's not natural."

"Don't worry," Ranger told her stoically. "She's probably not there anyway. I think she's been lying to me for months about where she goes."

"Ranger," Lula squeezed his arm comfortingly. "You have to give her time. It will get better."

Ranger snorted derisively. "Yeah, like how Joe is getting better?"

"He is!" Lula insisted.

"Really?" Ranger queried skeptically. "And where is Mr. Morelli tonight?"

"Working," Lula said slowly. "Supposedly."

"Uh huh, right. They're probably together."

"Nah," Lula shook her head. "She hates him too, remember?"

"Oh yeah, that's right. For once in our lives Joe and I actually have something in common." Ranger rubbed at his forehead trying to stave off the headache that always seemed to come when he discussed his daughter. "She's had nothing but time Lula, and it's getting worse, not better."

"Well, she let me take her shopping yesterday. That's got to be something, right? She hasn't let me do that in weeks."

"You got a teenage girl to go shopping? Yeah that's a real improvement."

"Don't give up Ranger," Lula ignored his little jab. "Please don't give up." She wrapped her arm around his back and gave him a sideways hug.

"I won't," he assured her and blinked back the tears that seemed to come at the drop of a hat these days. "Where's my other kid?" he asked. "You know, the one that still likes me. So far, anyway."

"He's in playing with Drew and Bella; you want me to get him?"

"Yeah, it's getting late. I'd better take him home."

"You got it." She squeezed him one more time and then left him standing in the middle of all their friends and family.

He spied Connie's daughter Megan sitting by herself near the blazing fireplace and another shot of pain pierced his heart. Megan and Natalie used to be best friends, inseparable like Lula and Steph. They had always been joined at the hip at this party, giggling and gossiping about boys or whatever it is teenage girls talk about. But now Megan sat alone, looking as lost as he surely felt.


	2. Chapter 2

_As always, I am not making any money._

_Thank you for all the comments and views!_

###########

* * *

"Daddy?"

Ranger looked up from the fire at the sound of his son's voice. He was standing in the doorway of the hallway in his football pajamas, his hair sticking up in every direction and his big blue eyes were trying to blink away the sleepiness that obviously still had a hold of him.

It amazed Ranger just how much he looked liked Stephanie. "What's up little man? I thought I put you to bed already."

Nicholas tottered over to his father rubbing his sleepy eyes with tiny fists. "You did. But I woked up," he said in his little four year old voice.

Ranger scooped him up into his lap. "Is that right? Well, you'd better go back to sleep, Santa won't come if you're still awake," he lied.

"I know dat!" Nicholas rolled his eyes dramatically and it made Ranger smile. It was no secret where he picked up that little trait.

"Then why are you up?" Ranger asked.

Nick bit the corner of his bottom lip, a quirk Steph said he got from his Father. "Daddy?" He questioned quietly.

"Yeah?"

"Where's Nat?"

Ranger swallowed and tried not to wince visibly at the question."She's - she's out tonight buddy."

Nick's doe eyes filled with tears and his bottom lip began to quiver. "When she comin' back?"

Not for the first time that day, Ranger silently cursed his daughter's name. "I don't know pal, probably not till late."

A few tears escaped from the corners of his eyes. "But - but she posta read me da story!" He cried and buried his face in his Father's shoulder.

Ranger hugged his son tightly to his chest. "Shhh, don't cry Nicky," he soothed as he once again cursed Natalie. She'd been reading it to him every Christmas Eve since his very first one. She'd read it and then she'd tuck him into bed and he'd beg her to stay with him until he fell asleep.

And that's where Ranger would find them on Christmas morning because Nat would inevitably fall asleep beside her little brother. He had a dozen pictures of them curled up together.

But not this year. This year she was out God knows where doing God knows what with God knows whom. Damn it.

"Don't she like me no more, Daddy?"

"Of course she does, buddy. She's just-well she's been kind of a different person lately. It's not about you though, okay?"

Nicholas squeezed tighter and Ranger's heart broke just a little bit more. "I miss da old Nat," he whispered.

"Me too kiddo, me too."

"Hey, how bout I read the story to you this year? Would that be okay? I know it's not the same but…" Ranger trailed off as he rocked his son.

Nick sniffled and wiped at his nose. "Kay. I guess so," he agreed reluctantly.

"All right, C'mon little man." Ranger stood up with his son in his arms and carried him off to his bedroom. He tucked him into his dinosaur sheets and Nick handed him the book.

Ranger settled in beside him and began the story.

_" 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse…"  
_  
########

"It's Christmas Eve and she's not coming home, is she?" Ranger poked at the fire, moving the logs around.

Stephanie shook her head sadly. "I don't think so."

He turned slowly away from the flames. "That's not really the answer I was looking for."

Steph shrugged apologetically. "You don't really want me to start lying to you now, do you?"

"Maybe. I mean, a little white lie every now and again never hurt anybody, right?"

Stephanie tilted her head as if pondering the possibility. "Okay," she agreed. "You still look as young and sexy as the day we were married."

Ranger's lips turned up at the corners. "That's not a lie, Babe."

A low throaty laugh burst from her mouth. "Arrogant bastard," she murmured but she was smiling.

Ranger closed his eyes and let her laughter envelope him like a warm blanket. There weren't many sounds he loved more than Stephanie's laugh.

When he opened them again she was standing mere inches from him. He watched the reflection of the fire dance in her eyes.

"What if she's lost or hurt or…I should have never agreed to remove her trackers."

Steph tenderly cupped his cheek and caught the tears that fell with a swipe of her thumb. "I'm sure she's fine; she's just…"

"I called Melissa's an hour ago. She wasn't there - hasn't been there all night," Ranger informed her.

"You already knew that," she reminded him.

"I know." He covered her hand with his and leaned heavily into her touch. "I just hoped."

"I know baby, I know."

"Tell me what to do, Steph," he begged. "Please, what do I do?"

"You know what to do."

"I thought we'd already established that I don't have a clue."

Steph smiled and pulled him into her arms. She wrapped him tightly in her embrace and spoke quietly into his ear. "You have to talk to her, Ranger. Make her hear you. She needs to stop blaming you and you need to stop blaming you. It wasn't anyone's fault. It's time to let go and move on. _Talk to her_."

"Why can't you talk to her?"

Steph smiled and kissed his neck. "You know it doesn't work that way. This is between you and her. Fight for your daughter or you'll lose her forever."

"I think I already have." His voice quivered with emotion and Stephanie pressed her lips gently to his.

"No, you haven't."

######

Headlights flooded the living room as a car pulled into the driveway. Ranger glanced at the clock above the mantel. It was just after two in the morning.

"I'll kill her," he grumbled and stormed for the front door.

"Ranger…" He heard the warning tone of Steph's voice but he ignored it and barreled outside where Natalie was exiting a car that Ranger, if he'd been paying attention, would have recognized immediately.

Nat froze in mid step when she saw her father pounding down the front walk. He was pissed, that was for certain.

Ranger also froze when he saw that she was watching him. There were perhaps two feet between them.

"Are you hurt?" He managed to ask after seemingly endless minutes of staring. "Broken bones? Bleeding?"

Natalie slowly shook her head in the negative.

Ranger exhaled loudly through his nose and slowly counted to ten in a vain attempt to control the boiling anger threatening to explode at any moment.

"Then why don't you tell me where the hell you've been," he said with a shaky voice. "And if the name Melissa comes out of your mouth, you're grounded for the rest of your life."

She opened her mouth to speak, but the driver of the car who'd exited during the confrontation answered instead.

"I'm sorry, Ranger. I would have called but I thought I should just bring her home."

Ranger turned at his voice and locked eyes with the man that brought his little girl home in the middle of the night.

"Dad…." Nat spoke tentatively.

"Go to your room Natalie," he commanded through clenched teeth. "Right now."

She ran for the house, not even attempting an argument.

"What the fuck is going on, Joe?" Ranger demanded when he heard the front door close behind his daughter.

Joseph Morelli moved slowly around the front of his old green Chevy Tahoe so he could face Ranger. He'd never seen the guy look as mad as he was right then and frankly he was rather intimidated, but he wasn't about to let Ranger see that.

"I guess I really should have called, but when I found them, my only thought was to get her right home. I'm sorry that you had to worry," he added sincerely.

"What?" Ranger questioned, confused. "Found who?"

"Natalie and Tony," he said slowly.

Ranger blinked repeatedly; the name resonating in his head. Tony. Tony. Tony. Tony. Tony. Tony.

Finally he spoke. "Tony. As in your son?"

Joe nodded. "I'm afraid so."

"My daughter….and your son?"

"Yeah."

"And they were…"

"Not quite, but if I hadn't walked in at that moment, it certainly would have ended up that way."

"My daughter and your son?" Ranger repeated.

"Yep."

Ranger ran a hand over his day old stubble. "Is that irony, or poetic justice?"

Joe scratched nervously at the back of his head and pulled on the zipper of his leather jacket. "A little of both, I think."

Ranger shook his head in disbelief and leaned against Joe's car. It was all too surreal. "Where did you find them?" he wanted to know, imagining Tony groping his daughter in some dark dirty alley or in the back of the multiplex on Walnut; the one that was so filthy your feet stuck to the floor.

"My place," Joe answered unexpectedly.

"Your place?" Ranger was confused again. "I thought Tony moved out."

"Me too," Joe sighed in exasperation. "He moved back in a couple of weeks ago."

"Kids," Ranger shook his head. "They always think they're ready for more responsibility than they really are."

"That's the truth," Joe agreed and leaned on his car next to Ranger. The two forever rivals stood side by side staring out into the dark night.

"I can't believe that this car still runs," Ranger mused after a time. "It must be what? Twenty five years old?"

"Yeah. I guess I have a good mechanic."

"Yeah." Ranger was a loss for what to say next. He hadn't talked to Joe in nearly a year. "What should we do about this?" he finally asked. "Is there anything we _can _do?"

"Well, I've already told Tony that he's not allowed to see her anymore," Joe offered.

"And he was just _okay_ with that?"

"I don't know. He's refusing to speak to me at the moment."

A short laugh escaped Ranger's throat. "Did you try and talk to her on the drive over?"

Joe nodded.

"Nothing?"

"No. You know she really hasn't talked to me since…" Joe trailed off.

Ranger nodded and ran a hand through his hair, bewildered. "Do you think they're in love?"

Joe frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Honestly, I don't know. I had no idea that they were even seeing each other, but I guess anything is possible at this point."

"Well, there's not much I can do about it, she's nearly eighteen."

"Yeah," Joe said. "But Tony is almost twenty three."

Ranger let that sink in. "Shit," he muttered. "He's too old for her."

"That's what I thought," Joe concurred.

Ranger exhaled noisily and pushed away from the car. "I'd better go talk to her before she sneaks back out of the house."

"Good luck," Joe sympathized.

Ranger turned and stuck out his hand. "Thanks for bringing her home."

Joe looked from Ranger's face to his hand and back again. "Sure," he said and finally shook the outstretched hand. "You know I'd do anything for that kid."

"I know. Good night."

"Ranger, wait." Joe called to his retreating form.

He stopped and turned back expectantly.

"Listen, I know we've never talked about….well anything, but I want you to know that I'm sorry - for everything." Joe was on the verge of tears and was furiously fighting them.

"I know you are, Joe," Ranger said gently. And he did, because he was sorry too. "I am too, you know. We've done and said a lot of stupid things to each other and it's time for it to stop. She told me that it's time to let go and move on. I'm pretty sure she meant you too."

A small smile found its way to Joe's face. "Yeah, that's easy to say isn't it?" he asked wryly.

Ranger smiled back. "Yeah. But I guess it won't hurt to try. Well, not _too_ much anyway."

Joe agreed with a shrug. "Okay. Good night, Ranger. Oh, and don't be too hard on her, she's really hurting."

Ranger nodded and started back to the house. "So am I," he whispered. "So am I."


	3. Chapter 3

Ranger entered his house and slowly shut the door with his back. When it clicked shut, he slid down the wood until he was sitting on the tile floor of the entryway.

Tony and his baby girl - and they were - what if they weren't using protection? What if she was pregnant? He didn't know how this could possibly be any more horrible.

"Sitting there worrying yourself crazy isn't going to do any good," Stephanie surmised.

He looked up from the tile. "Sure it is. I feel better already."

"Go talk to your daughter." Steph pointed toward the hallway that led to the bedrooms. "I can hear her sliding her bedroom window open right now."

He bolted off the floor and ran down the hallway. He skidded to a stop in front of Nat's door. She'd left it slightly ajar and he peered inside. She wasn't anywhere near the window.

Ranger shot a death glare down the hallway at Stephanie. He turned back and pushed the door open. Natalie had her back to him and was removing her coat. It made the sweater she was wearing ride up and Ranger spotted what looked like a fresh tattoo on the small of her back. His eyes narrowed when he saw what it was.

_God damned Tony_, he thought. Add that to the ever-growing list of things they needed to discuss.

"Natalie."

She spun around at the sound of his voice. "I'm not going to stop seeing him," she spit out, defying him before he even got a word out of his mouth. "You can't make me."

Ranger bit the inside of his cheek and counted to twenty before he responded. "I'm beginning to realize that I can't make you do anything. Just please tell me you're being careful. Condoms, the pill, the patch, the shot - whatever. Just tell me you're being careful."

Natalie's entire face burned red with embarrassment and she turned around so she wouldn't have to look at him. "I'm not going to have this conversation with you," she said through obviously clenched teeth. "It's none of your business."

"Of course it's my business. You're my little girl, and I don't want you to get hurt. You do remember what happened when Lula got pregnant with the twins, don't you? We almost lost her; I don't want that to happen to you. I don't - I couldn't bear it."

"We're not…we haven't even done it yet, okay?" she replied quietly.

Ranger sagged against the door frame as relief washed over him in waves. It was short lived however, when he realized the word _yet_ was tacked on at the end of her sentence.

"I'm not going to stop seeing him," she repeated.

Ranger swallowed hard and ran a hand through his hair with serious thoughts of ripping it right out of his head. "We'll discuss Tony later. And you are grounded, so don't expect to see him any time soon."

"How long?" she wanted to know.

"Until I feel like it's been long enough."

She heaved a sigh of frustrated anger, but didn't otherwise protest.

"Nat…"

She didn't respond.

"Will you please look at me?"

She complied slowly and when she was facing him again, the look she gave him conveyed that this had to be the most awful thing he'd ever asked of her.

"We have to get this out in the open. I don't think I can take much more."

"Of what?" she asked like she didn't know.

"Of this!" He gestured to her with his hands. "This attitude of yours. You hardly speak to me anymore and when you do, it ends in a screaming match." His temper was rising with every syllable. "You're lying to me and basically acting like I'm the worst human being on the planet! That's what I'm talking about!"

Her eyes darted around the room, looking at anything and everything but him.

He blew a breath out through his nose and tried again. "I know you blame me for what happened, and I understand. I blame myself for the most part, but there's nothing I can do to change it. If I could, believe me I would. _God_, how I would. Not a day goes by that I don't wish I could turn back time, but I can't. I can't fix it, Nat."

She remained silent; tears gathered in her eyes and clung thickly to her lashes.

"You hate me for it, I get that," he plowed on, "but you have to let it go, sweetie. You have to forgive me. You have to forgive me, Natalie," he pleaded with her, "because I feel like I'm losing my little girl and I - I can't lose you - I can't…"

She turned away from him as the tears started to fall. "I can't - I can't talk about this. I just can't," she managed to say. Her head bent and she covered her mouth with a hand

"You have to. You have to it's never going to get better. We'll never be…" he trailed off unable to continue.

He stood there for what seemed like hours before he could speak without completely losing control.

"Okay," he finally said. "Okay. Why don't we talk about your brother then? You broke his heart tonight. I'm sure you didn't mean to but you did. You made him cry. He's a little boy and he doesn't understand what's going on with you. He thinks you don't like him anymore. You broke his heart, Natalie."

He heard a sob escape from her throat, but still she said nothing.

"You broke my heart too," he added on a whisper. "It breaks a little more every day."

Natalie bit her finger trying to keep from crying out loud. She'd done her best to forget that it was Christmas and in the process had forgotten that there was a little boy here waiting for his big sister to read him a story.

She finally turned around, but her Dad had vanished.

############

* * *

Ranger lingered in the doorway of his bedroom watching his wife apply lotion to her smooth, sexy legs. She was wearing the nightgown that drove him crazy. The deep cranberry one with the spaghetti straps; the one that clung to her body in all the right places.

"You look beautiful."

Stephanie rolled her eyes, but couldn't stop the corners of her mouth from turning up. "You always say that."

"It's always true."

"It can't always be true," she countered. "I know for a fact when I had the flu two years ago, and I was puking up anything I tried to eat, I was definitely not beautiful."

"Well, you're _definitely_ beautiful now," he assured her and started across the room. "No doubt about it," he added as he sat beside her on their king size bed.

"Sometimes you're so beautiful it takes me breath away." The words were whispered as he ran his fingers through the length of her hair.

He'd always loved her hair. It was long and dark and curly and soft as silk. He remembered sulking for months right after Natalie was born because Steph had hacked it all off. She decided her hair was too much trouble to deal with while she was trying to take care of a newborn. Juvenile yes, but she'd finally caved and let it grow back. She never cut it that short again.

"You're quite hard to resist when you're being like this." Steph sighed as his fingers found her neck and began gently massaging the skin behind her ear.

"Why do you need to resist me?" he asked with mock innocence.

"Ranger," she chided.

"What?" he continued with the charade.

"Natalie -your daughter - remember?" She prodded gently.

Ranger sighed and ran his hand down her back and over the silk of the cranberry nightgown. "Can't I just pretend for one night that my daughter doesn't loathe me, that she didn't make her little brother cry, and that she's not really banging that juvenile delinquent son of Joe's?"

"He's not a juvenile anymore," Steph corrected.

Ranger groaned and threw himself back onto the mattress. He closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands. "You knew, didn't you?" he asked.

"Knew what?"

"About Tony."

Stephanie was silent. Ranger removed his hands from his face and waited for her answer. It didn't come and he eventually opened his eyes so he could stare at the back of her head. Still, she was silent.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

She turned around to face him. "It wasn't for me to tell."

"How long?" he demanded.

"Does it matter?"

Ranger rubbed his temples in slow circles. "Does she love him?"

"I don't know," Steph answered slowly.

He pushed himself up on his elbows. "But, you know everything."

"No I don't. That's a misconception you've always had about me."

Ranger sat up fully then and pulled his wife into his lap. He wrapped himself around her and held on for dear life. "No it's not," he said softly. "You do know everything, you always have. You have to know, Steph; because I don't. I don't know anything anymore."

"I think she _thinks_ she loves him," she finally conceded.

"And what about Tony? Does he love her?"

"Hmm…well it's hard to tell with Tony. He's so much like Joe, always keeping everything bottled up tight, but yes, I think he does."

Ranger blew out a breath and held her tighter.

"I don't like him, Steph."

"Because he's Joe's." It was a statement.

"No. Okay, partially; but it's more than that. The kid is just screwed up."

"Of course he is," Steph said. "His mother turned out to be a psychotic murderer - that would mess anyone up - but he's basically a good kid. He just hasn't found his way in the world yet."

"I suppose that's true. But it doesn't change the fact that his hair is too long and he's got things pierced that just…shouldn't be."

Stephanie laughed and shook her head.

"And he's covered in tattoos. Have you seen him lately? There were at least three new ones the last time I saw him."

"You're hopeless."

"And I suppose you know that Nat has one now too? I saw it when she was taking off her jacket. I didn't let on that I saw, but she's so grounded for that. I'll give you three guesses as to what ink covered freak talked her into that. And of course it's one of those fucking skulls that he has plastered all over his arms."

"Ranger, you're babbling."

"I guess that's what you get for making me hang out with Lula for the last twenty five years."

Steph rolled her eyes in exasperation, extricated herself from his arms, and crawled off his lap. "Listen, I understand all of your reservations about Tony, and I even agree with some of them, but we both know that in the big scheme of things, he is not really the problem here."

Ranger rubbed his hand over his face. "I know. I even know now what to do first."

"You do?"

"Yep. It's a fool proof plan."

Stephanie regarded him skeptically. "And what might that be?"

"First, I'm going to dance with my wife." He jumped off the bed and grabbed the remote to the stereo from the nightstand. He clicked on the music and then held his hand out to her.

"Ranger…."

"Dance with me, Babe," he rebuffed her protest. "Dancing with you always makes everything okay again."

She took his hand reluctantly and let him pull her off the bed.

He gathered her into his embrace, molding himself to her body. They swayed together to the lilting voice wafting softly from the speakers.

_So break me, take me just let me feel your arms again.  
Break me, take me just let me feel your love again.  
_  
"I love this song," she whispered.

"I know," he replied, resting his cheek on the crown of her head.

They moved in a slow circle toward the door. "You know you have to stop this, right?' Stephanie questioned. "It's not good for you and it's certainly not good for -"

"Nat." His daughter was standing in the doorway, tears streamed down her cheeks. She turned and fled.

"Natalie!" He called after her, but she was gone.

#######

* * *

Natalie slipped into her brother's room and closed the door as quietly as she'd opened it. She moved expertly through the dark and lowered herself onto the bed.

She leaned over Nicholas' sleeping form; her long dark hair hung over her face like a curtain. She pulled his thumb out of his mouth and tucked his blankets more securely around his chest.

"Momma? Dat you?" He questioned sleepily as his eyes struggled to flutter open.

Natalie bit back a sob. "No, Nicky. It's Natalie."

"You gots hair just like Momma," He muttered and rolled toward his sister.

She smiled a little at his observation. "I know. Hey Nick?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I wasn't here tonight, you know, to read you the story. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."

"You not mad at me?"

"No baby, I'm not mad. I promise."

"You mad at Daddy?"

Nat bit her lip as another sob vaulted to her throat. "A little, I guess," she confessed.

"You gonna stop fightin'?"

"I hope so," she whispered.

"Nat?"

"Yeah?"

" Will you stay wif me? Till Santa comes?"

"Of course I will."


	4. Chapter 4

_AN: I know this story is sad and dark and full of angst so I appreciate all of you who are sticking with it. Based on your comments I think most of you have already figured out what is going on but here it is anyway._

########

* * *

The sun had not even begun to break free of the horizon when Ranger heard a soft knock at the front door. He groaned loudly before reluctantly rolling out of bed and trudging to answer it.

He knew who it was but he had to check through the peephole anyway. "All hail the Christmas Nazi," he muttered. Connie's Santa hat was clearly visible through the tiny hole.

He sighed and pulled open the door.

"You know, when you said you were going to drop by this morning, I assumed it would be a normal person's morning. Not an insane, obviously disturbed person's morning."

"Merry Christmas!" She said brightly. "Do you always look this bad in the morning?"

"Bah Humbug," He replied. "And why is it we're still friends?"

In truth, Connie was his best friend these days. They'd developed a causal sarcastic banter over the years and were constantly throwing jabs, but lately, when he needed someone, she would always be there-no questions asked-and most importantly she wouldn't blab whatever he had to say to all of their friends and family; like a certain other person he knew.

"Rough night?" she questioned.

"Is there any other kind?"

"Still no break through with Nat?"

"No. But there has been a complete and total break _down_, so I have that going for me."

"Don't stop trying, that's all you have to remember," Connie advised.

"I know," he agreed. "Now, not to be rude, but why is it that you needed to come by at the butt crack of dawn?"

"You know you used to be up this early before you decided to settle down and have kids. In fact, back in the day you probably would have already run ten miles, hit the gym and have been two hours into your work day by now." Connie smiled and held up a pink cardboard box.

"Is that…" Ranger took it from her hands and immediately lifted it open.

"Chocolate cream pie. Your favorite."

He stuck his nose in the box and inhaled. "I could just kiss you!" Ranger exclaimed.

Connie made a face of disgust. "Please don't."

"Thank you," he said sincerely, closing the box.

"Sure. I wanted to bring it by before we had to start making the rounds. I'm sorry it's so early," she added.

"No you're not." Connie smirked "Is that Hal?" Ranger squinted at the figure behind the wheel of Connie's car. "How did you get him up at this hour?"

"Are you kidding?" Connie laughed. "Hal is still trying to find a way to have mornings outlawed. That's Megan." Hal was a night owl. In fact, Ranger couldn't remember ever seeing the guy in the daylight more than a couple of times.

"How did you get _her_ up this early?"

Connie grinned. Megan took after her father. "It wasn't easy, but we're going to sunrise service with my parents. You know how my Dad spoils her; she wouldn't miss a chance at getting some cash."

"He still gives her money every time he sees her? How is he not broke?"

Connie shrugged. "I don't know!"

"How is Megan?" Ranger asked with concern.

"Okay," Connie sighed. "She misses her best friend."

A lump formed in Ranger's throat and he could only nod.

"Well, I'd better go. Don't want to be late. Listen - tell Natalie we love her, okay?"

"I will," Ranger agreed.

"Good. We're still picking Nicky up at four, right?"

"Yes," Ranger confirmed. "And thanks for doing that for me."

"No problem. You know I love that kid; he's a good boy." She paused for a beat. "Thank God he took after Steph."

Ranger rolled his eyes. "Merry Christmas, Connie."

She winked at him and ran to her car.

Ranger shut the door and carried his pie to the refrigerator. He looked at it before sliding it inside, debating whether or not he should dig into it right then.

"You cannot have chocolate cream pie for breakfast," Stephanie lectured from the doorway of the kitchen.

Ranger grinned and set the box on the top shelf. He shut the refrigerator door and turned to her. "Why not? It has milk in it."

"I've created a monster," Steph said with a laugh. "It took me years to get you to defile the temple with sweets and now you're as bad as the kids. And you can't have it because if you have some then Nicky and Nat will want some, and my kids are not eating chocolate pie for breakfast. Besides, we always have pancakes on Christmas morning."

"Shaped like Christmas trees," Ranger added.

"That's right."

Ranger stuck his bottom lip out in mock pout. "But it has milk and eggs in it -that's healthy," he whined.

"It also has chocolate and whipped cream, and if I know Connie, it has a chocolate cookie crust as well." Steph countered.

"Mmmmm, chocolate cookie crust." Ranger looked forlornly at the refrigerator.

"Not only are you as bad as the kids, I think you're even _worse_ than _I_ am," Steph revised her early proclamation.

Ranger turned back to her, smiling. "I love you, Stephanie."

"I know. Now c'mon," she gestured with a tilt of her head. "There's something I want to show you." She started moving toward the bedrooms and Ranger cocked an eyebrow.

"Is it something naughty?"

"Ranger…"

He laughed and followed her down the hallway.

She stopped in front of Nicky's door and held a finger up to her lips to let him know to be quiet. She turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open as Ranger sidled up to her.

His heart caught in his throat at the sight before him. It was something that just a few hours ago he was sure he would never see again. Hope surged mightily through his veins making his skin tingle.

A soft glow from the nightlight in the corner illuminated the forms of his sleeping children as they cuddled together on Nicky's tiny twin bed. He was curled up at his sister's side, his head resting on her chest, and Natalie's arm was wrapped protectively around him, holding him to her tightly.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" Steph whispered.

Ranger's hand came up and rested over his chest where his heart beat loudly beneath his shirt.

"Yes," he whispered back.

"You see, Ranger," she said softly. "Not all hope is lost."

He pulled her into a hug, kissing her gently on the forehead. "I know," he answered. And for the first time in a long time, he actually believed it.

##########

Ranger lit a fire as the sun finally began its ascent into the morning sky. His kids were still sound asleep and this was his favorite part of Christmas, his time with Stephanie.

He stoked the flames as high as they would go and then handed her a cup of coffee before he curled up with her on the couch.

"This is the best part of Christmas," he sighed and took a sip out of the cup he brought for himself.

"What is?" Steph asked.

"This part - with you. Before the little terror gets up and wrapping paper mayhem breaks loose in the living room."

"Oh c'mon!" She argued. "You're telling me that the look on Nicky's face when he sees all the presents isn't your favorite part of Christmas?"

"Nope." He stretched his legs out on the cushions and Stephanie fit easily between them leaning her back against his chest. He set his coffee cup on an end table and wrapped his arms around her middle. "It only comes in a close second to you."

She tilted her head back and kissed him softly. "I love you," she murmured.

"I know. Hey, do you know what I was thinking earlier?"

"What's that?"

"That I need to call Joe."

"Joe? Why?"

"To thank him."

"For?"

"Well, if he hadn't lost his mind and married that psycho, Terri Gilman - disappearing for three years, I probably wouldn't have those two beautiful creatures to call my own because I probably never would have had you." He moved the hair that covered her neck and pressed his lips to her exposed shoulder.

"Yes you would have," she said seriously.

"Come on, Steph. You know that if he hadn't left, you two would probably still be together right now."

"We weren't together when he left," she said quietly.

Ranger narrowed his eyes and squeezed her tighter. He'd forgotten that. She'd been so devastated when he left, and when Joe returned home, he'd been so blatantly jealous that Ranger and Steph were engaged that it was easy to forget that he hadn't actually stolen her from him.

"And I knew long before he left that we wouldn't end up together," she added.

Ranger blinked. "You did? And you're just telling me that now?"

Stephanie smiled. "You knew that, Ranger. You just chose to believe something else."

Ranger thought about that. She was probably right. If she hadn't known, she never would have married him.

"Well, did you know you'd end up with me?" He asked wryly.

She laughed. "That's a loaded question."

"Fully loaded," he agreed.

"We should go wake up the kids."

"Chicken," he taunted.

"Let's just say I knew there was definite potential."

"You've been the best wife a man could ask for, Babe." He told her seriously. "I have to be the luckiest person alive."

"You got that right buddy!" She teased.

He laughed and kissed her. "Let's go wake up the kids."

They raced each other down the hallway, laughing the entire way. Ranger came out victorious and threw open the door to Nicky's room.

"Hey!" He shouted. "Hey! Wake up sleepy heads! It's Christmas!"

Nat and Nicky sat up groggily, rubbing their eyes of sleep.

"That fat guy in the red suit somehow managed to get down our skinny chimney again. You guys better get out there!"

#############

Ranger sat surveying the family room. That kid of his was as fast as a tornado when it came to opening gifts and he left just as much damage.

He leaned back on the cushions of the couch and listened to the sounds of his children fighting over who would get the last pancake. A small smile graced his mouth and he closed his eyes, savoring the moment. It had been a perfect Christmas morning. _Almost._

"You're missing all the breakfast fun."

He opened one eye. "Hey Dad. I'm not really hungry."

"Connie made you a pie too?"

Ranger laughed. "Yeah, chocolate cream. You?"

"Coconut cream. That girl knows how to make pie. It's even better than Helen Plum's."

"Don't let her hear you say that," Ranger warned.

"Of course not," Ricardo Manoso Sr. agreed. "I'm not that stupid!" He settled himself next to Ranger on the couch and said, "What's on your mind son?"

"How do you always know when I have serious thoughts?" Ranger asked, turning to his father.

"Because I'm your father. I've spent nearly fifty years figuring you out and you've had a pensive look on your face all morning. That usually means you need to ask me something."

Ranger smiled. He never could get anything past his Dad. Just like Stephanie. "I need a favor, Dad."

He nodded, "I'll do what I can."

"I realize this is really short notice, but can Natalie stay with you while we're on the ski trip?"

Ricardo's eyebrows rose in surprise but he answered without hesitation. "Of course she can."

"Thanks Dad, I really appreciate it."

"It's not an issue, son. You know your Mother and I love that girl."

"I know."

"You wanna tell me why she doesn't want to go?" he asked.

Ranger shrugged and turned his gaze to the fire. "She says she doesn't like skiing anymore."

"Well, that's a lie," Ricardo observed.

"Yep," Ranger nodded in agreement. "Seems that's all she's capable of these days."

"Lying?"

"Yeah, and ignoring."

"She still won't talk about it?"

Ranger shook his head and tried to swallow the ever present lump in his throat.

Ricardo wrapped his arm around his son's shoulder and squeezed gently. "I promised you a long time ago I wouldn't meddle in your business, so I'm just going to say this one thing and be done with it, okay?"

Ranger nodded and wiped at his eyes.

Ricardo took a deep breath. "Both of you are filled with so much pain, I don't know how you even get through the days but you do and that's a good sign. I truly believe that if you can get it all out there, things will begin to heal. Make her talk to you, son. Tie her down if you have to."

"Don't think I haven't thought about it," Ranger said.

"It might work." Ricardo shrugged.

Ranger laughed a little. "Yeah, maybe. Thanks Dad."

He nodded and pushed himself up off the couch. "I better go see what my wife is doing. She might be trying to clean again. Ella has a fit when she does that."

Ranger rolled his eyes. His Mother hadn't changed a bit. "Oh, Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Nat is grounded, so don't let her go anywhere - even if she bats those eyelashes at you."

Ricardo winced. "I am a sucker for those eyelashes. So she's grounded for the entire time?"

"For her entire life," Ranger clarified.

"Uh huh," Ranger's Dad laughed.

"And she is under no circumstances to see, talk to, or even think about Tony." Ranger went on with instructions.

Ricardo cocked an eyebrow. "Tony? Morelli's Tony?"

"You know anyone else with that name?"

He shook his head. "Nope. When did…."

"I don't even want to think about it," Ranger held up his hand in protest.

Ricardo smiled and shook his head. "Okay. So grounded for life and no Tony. I got it."

"Thanks Dad."

He nodded and went in search of his wife.

######

"You know you don't need to do that," Steph reminded as she leaned in the doorway watching Ranger clean up the family room. "Everyone's going to Lula and Tank's this year."

Ranger stopped and looked around the half clean room. They always rushed to pick up the mess after presents because everyone gathered at their house for Christmas dinner. They use to rotate houses every year, but when Steph and Ranger got married everyone just gravitated to their house. Like it was meant to be.

But not this year.

This year Tank and Lula had the honors. It would probably be that way for all the Christmases to come.

"I know," he sighed and picked up another empty box. "It's just habit I guess."

Steph nodded and slowly moved toward him.

"It's not going to be the same," Ranger mused as he shoved a big ball of wrapping paper into the garbage bag resting at his feet.

"No," Stephanie agreed slowly. "But it won't be bad."

"As long as Connie does all the cooking and doesn't let Lula help very much."

"Hey!" Steph protested. "Lula makes a mean eggnog."

Ranger laughed. "Uh huh. But that is the extent of her expertise. Remember that Jell-O salad she made last year? The dogs wouldn't even eat it."

Steph chuckled. "I still don't know what she did to that. I mean, how do you screw up Jell-O?"

Ranger laughed but his mirth turned suddenly to sorrow and tears filled his eyes. "I can't do this, Steph."

She stepped closer to him and cupped his cheek in her palm. "Can't do what?" she asked softly.

"This," he gestured to the mess in the family room. "Christmas, Lula and Tank's, skiing, Natalie. Everything. I can't do it. I'm not-I'm not strong enough."

"Yes yo…"

"Nat." Ranger interrupted Stephanie when he saw his daughter standing in the doorway to the family room.

Natalie was fighting back tears and she swallowed hard before she spoke. "Where's Nicky? I was - I was going to get him ready to go."

Ranger ran a hand anxiously through his hair. "Connie and Hal picked him up a little while ago."

"Why?" she wanted to know. "Aren't we going to Tank and Lula's?"

"Yeah," Ranger answered, "but not till later. I had them pick him up so we -so we could talk."

Natalie shifted her weight and Ranger thought she was about to bolt. "Natalie, please don't run. We need to do this."

"Okay," she said with a noticeably shaking voice. "Okay."

She walked slowly to the couch fighting every urge to flee right out the front door and never look back.

Ranger was in shock and it took a while for the reality of it to sink in. She was agreeing to talk to him and he didn't even have to tie her up.

She sat down on the end of the couch, perched on the edge like she was ready to jump up at any moment.

Ranger sat across from her in his recliner in much the same manner. "I don't-I'm not even sure where to start now," he said.

Natalie looked up at him then with tears flowing. "When are you gonna get help?" she whispered without preamble. "You promised Aunt Connie that you'd get help."

"Wh-what?"

"The hallucinations," she clarified in that same terrified whisper. "I've watched you. You talk to her, you dance with her...you kiss her."

Ranger blinked furiously at his own tears as they flowed endlessly.

"She's dead, Daddy," Natalie said with a sob. "Mom is dead."


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: **So this is the end. Many thanks to everyone who stuck with it. I know it was a tough read.

As always, I do not profit in anyway.

**#########**

* * *

**10 Months before…**

Natalie maneuvered the shiny black Porsche Cayenne down Haywood Street and slowly came to a stop in front of her Father's building. She left the car running and turned to look at her Mother.

"Are you sure this okay? Dad's not going to totally freak out, right?"

"I'll handle your Father. And this isn't the first time I've let you use the car overnight."

"I know, but this is the Porsche. You always let me take an Explorer or a Land Rover. Dad loves this car."

"You're an excellent driver, so it's not a big deal. And he loves the Shelby, this is his second favorite. He'll only worry a little. And besides, you're going right to Megan's so you won't be on the road long," Steph said. And this car is fully equipped with GPS so we can find out where you are in a second, she didn't add out loud.

Natalie bit the corner of her lip and nodded. Stephanie narrowed her eyes. Her daughter only did that when she was hiding something. "You _are_ going directly to Megan's, right?"

"Of course." Natalie cut her eyes away from her Mother's penetrating gaze and looked out the window towards the building where she use to spend almost every day after school, running through the halls with several of her 'uncles' chasing her.

"Natalie…you know I'm going to find out eventually."

Her head snapped back to Stephanie's face. "What? Find out what?

"Whatever it is your hiding."

Nat tried to laugh it off but her Mother had always been able to see right through her. "I'm not hiding anything."

"Mmmm," Stephanie murmured, completely unconvinced. "Okay. Well, have fun with Megan and don't forget that you need to pick Nicky up at Grandma's before you come home tomorrow." She reached for the door handle and froze at Nat's response.

"Mom? Did you know right away that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Dad?"

Whoa. Where did that come from? "No…" she said slowly. "I knew I loved him pretty much right off the bat, but the forever stuff came much later. Why do you ask?"

Natalie twisted a lock of hair nervously around her finger. "No reason. I was just curious. I'll pick Nicky up in the morning. We'll see you around ten."

"Okay…have fun. Be careful and I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."

Stephanie opened the door and grabbed the bag of food off the floor of the front seat. She closed the door and waved to her daughter as she drove off. She headed for the lobby of the Rangeman building with a single thought floating through her head.

Her daughter was in love.

Ranger was going to flip out.

She pulled out the key card she hadn't used in months and swiped it through the electronic scanner on the door. It clicked open and she entered her husband's place of business.

"Steph!"

Zero was working the front desk and greeted her enthusiastically.

"Hey, Zero. Long time no see. How's your Mom?"

"Better. They think she'll be able to go home next week. Thanks for the flowers you sent, by the way. They made her smile."

"It was nothing," Steph waved him off as she headed for the elevator. "I'm just glad she's doing well. I'm going up to five; I'll see you on the way out."

Zero waved and Stephanie stepped into the elevator. On the short ride up, she thought about who had captured her daughter's heart. She had a pretty good idea who it was. She'd caught Natalie eyeing him on more than one occasion with a little more than friendly feelings lighting her gaze. Yep, Ranger was going to flip out.

The elevator door opened and Stephanie came face to face with one Lester Santos.

"Well hello, gorgeous," he said, stepping back so she could exit onto the floor. He flashed his famous half grin; it emphasized the dimple in his left cheek that most women found irresistible. "You sure are a sight for sore eyes." He was just so darn charming that it almost made up for most of his inappropriate behavior.

"Uh huh," Steph said, never one to fall victim to his twinkling brown eyes or his adorable dimples. "You're full of shit, Santos."

He tipped his head back and laughed and then threw his arm around her shoulders. "When are you going to dump that loser boss of mine and run away with me?"

"Hands off my wife or I'll break that arm."

A little shiver ran down Stephanie's spine at the sound of his voice. Even after all this time, he still affected her that way. It made her smile.

Lester spun them around and extracted his arm. "Damn. Foiled again. When did you get back?"

"Just now. And aren't you supposed to be relieving Woody on the monitors?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm on my way. Later, Steph." He kissed her on the cheek and darted away before Ranger could grab him and wring his neck.

"Hey, Babe," he said, and slid his arms around her waist so he could bring her in for a kiss. "I didn't know you were here. The Cayenne isn't in the garage."

"I let Nat take it. She just dropped me off. My Mom sent food." She held up the brown bag packed with leftovers.

"Nat has the Porsche?"

Stephanie smiled. "She's just going to Megan's."

Ranger blew out a sigh of relief. "Okay. Where's Nicky?"

"I left him at my parent's house. He wanted to spend the night?"

"With _your_ parents? Why?"

Stephanie jabbed her elbow in his gut. "They're not that bad."

"Babe, I've been in war zones that were less harrowing than a dinner at your parent's house."

"Very funny. Maybe you don't want this roast chicken then."

"Roast chicken? I love your Mom's roast chicken."

Stephanie laughed and gave him a quick kiss. "C'mon, it's probably still warm."

Ranger took the bag from her and linked their fingers together for the short walk to his office. He used his key fob to unlock it and flipped on the light. He held the door open for her and followed her inside.

Stephanie gasped and he looked up from bag of food he'd started to inspect. "It's great, right?"

She hadn't been in his office in a while, but she didn't think it had been _that_ long. Every square inch of the wall across from his desk was covered in photographs. Of her, of the kids, of their friends. The last time she'd seen it there had been a few of the kids, but that was it.

She moved to the wall and began in the corner, taking in each one. A great deal were of her and of the kids, from baby pictures to the present. But she also saw some of Tank and Lula, and their twins, Drew and Bella. There was one of Lula holding them just hours after they were born. There were picture of Joe and Tony and Hal and Connie and their daughter, Megan. There were some of her parents, of Ranger's parents and siblings, of most of the Merry Men and of Grandma Mazur.

She was undoubtedly overwhelmed.

"When did you do this?" She demanded, turning toward him and gesturing to the wall with her hand.

Ranger set the bag of food on his desk and began extracting the contents. "I had a few up there, as you know, and I don't know- everyone just started bringing me pictures. Even Joe brought a couple."

Stephanie was surprised and her eyebrows rose to her hairline with the proof of that.

"I know. I nearly fell out of my chair too." Ranger sat down and opened the container that held the chicken. He found a plastic fork in the bad and dug into the food. He ate a few bites before continuing. "Before I knew it, the whole wall was covered," he said after his mouth was empty.

"I want to do this at the house," Steph said staring at the wall. "We could do it on the far wall in the family room."

"We'll start tonight." Ranger smiled at his wife and polished off the rest of the chicken and started on the rice and asparagus.

Steph beamed at him. "Speaking of which, how long are you going to be."

Ranger sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Probably another hour, at least. Sorry," he apologized. "We finalized the deal with Grey Enterprises to take over security in their New York and Los Angeles offices and I have to get the final contract complete so it can be messengered over for signatures in the morning."

"Don't apologize," Steph said. "This is your job. Plus, I get to see you in that sexy suit."

"You said I look like my Dad in this suit," Ranger said, absently running his hand down the front of his jacket.

"I know. Your Dad is sexy."

"Oh God," Ranger groaned. "I can't tell you on how many different levels that is disturbing."

Stephanie laughed and started for the door but Ranger followed and drew her into his arms. She wrapped hers around his waist and lifted up on her toes to kiss him. She only intended it to be a chaste touch of their lips but Ranger had other ideas. His arms banded around her, bringing their bodies closer together. He probed her lips with his tongue and Stephanie opened to him willingly. Even after nearly twenty five years, his kiss still made her knees week and her heart flutter. The man was a master with his tongue. She felt him growing hard between them and reluctantly pushed out of his arms. "If you keep that up, we'll both be naked and you won't get your work done."

"I think I'm okay with that," he said in a low husky voice and reached for her.

She darted out of the way of his hands with a laugh. "Finish your paper work and then we'll finish _this_ when you get home."

"Immediately when I get home," he said. "It feels like a lifetime since I've been inside you."

Although it had only been a few days, Stephanie felt the same and his words were almost enough for her to lock his office door and get him naked and inside her right that instant. But she knew it would be so much better at home where they could take their time.

"I know what you mean," she said moving to the door. "I'll be waiting. Oh and the kids won't be there – so Ranger? We'll have _ALL_ night."

A low growl sounded from his throat and she grinned at him. "At least kiss me one more time before you leave me stranded her with a massive hard-on."

She crossed back to him without protest and kissed him gently – no tongue this time. He didn't need any more encouragement. "Come home soon," she said.

"Don't worry, I will. But I don't want you walking," he said reaching for the phone on his desk. "I'll have one of the guys drive you."

Steph snatched the phone from his hand and dropped it back into the cradle. "We live less than two miles from here, Ranger. I think I can handle it."

Ranger sighed, knowing he wouldn't win this one. She had a stubborn streak that he simultaneously loved and hated. "Okay, but look both ways before you cross the street," he said in his best Dad teasing tone, following her retreating form.

"Now you look and _sound_ like your Dad," she teased.

Ranger winced and shook his head. "You're horrible."

She stopped in the threshold and turned around to face him. She leaned in and kissed him one last time. "I love you," she whispered. "See you when you get home."

She left him standing in the doorway of his office, his lips and lower parts of his body tingling from her touch.

Ranger sat as his desk for all of two minutes before he was on his feet and headed out. He wanted to be with his wife. Screw the paperwork. He would come in early in the morning and finish it. He glanced at his watch, noting it had only been a few minutes since Stephanie left and if he hurried he would catch her and they could walk the rest of the way home together.

Forgoing the stairs, he took the elevator down to the lobby. Zero looked up when he stepped out and grinned. "She just left, you can catch her," he said.

"Thanks, man," Ranger replied. When he opened the door, he heard the unmistakable sound of screeching car tires trying desperately to stop.

He burst outside at a run in the direction he thought the sound had come from. He rounded the corner of the building and froze when he saw the headlights of the SUV shooting two beams of blinding white light down the middle of the road. Smoke from the burning tires hung thickly in the air and the vehicle had been abandoned, the driver's door left wide open.

His eyes frantically began the search. They followed the light from the headlights and landed upon a huddled figure thirty feet down the street.

Ranger began running. He saw the blood spreading over the light dusting of snow on the blacktop in a slow arc. He ignored it, telling himself it was a trick of the light.

He skidded abruptly to a stop and dropped to his knees beside his wife. The man who'd apparently been driving the car was sobbing over her body. His hands were covered in her blood.

"I-I didn't see her-she was in the middle of the road-I didn't see her," he repeated over and over.

Ranger heard pounding feet as a number of his men came barreling down the street after him. One of them yelled for someone to call an ambulance, but it sounded far away to Ranger; from another place, a different world.

"She's not breathing – she's not breathing." Joseph Morelli pumped his hands up and down on Stephanie's chest trying in vain to get her heart started.

Ranger held her head and blood trickled out of her mouth and ran over the back of his hand_._

_#######_

* * *

She's dead," Natalie repeated, her voice escalating to a fevered pitch. "She's dead!"

Ranger wiped at the tears but they rebuffed him, continuing to pour from his eyes.

_"I'm sorry Mr. Manoso she had severe internal hemorrhaging, there was nothing we could do - I'm so sorry, she's gone."  
_  
Ranger stood abruptly; the voice of the emergency room doctor echoed inside his head.

"She's dead, Daddy!"

"I know - I know that," he managed to choke out.

"Do you?" Natalie snapped, suddenly angry. "Then-why do you-why do you talk to her? Why do you …what happens if the wrong person sees you?"

"What? What do you mean?"

"Every time you're out in public I-I worry that someone will see you talking to-_nobody_ and," her anger deflated quickly into despair, "and they'll take you away from me. You know, to the nuthouse or something," she finished on a whisper and clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles began to turn white.

Ranger's heart leaped into his throat. She's afraid? Of losing me? Is that what…He dropped to his knees in front of her and gathered her fisted hands into his. "Nat, is that-is that what all this has been about?"

"All what?" She sniffled and extracted one of her hands to wipe her nose.

He let go of her other hand and crawled up on the couch next to her. "Everything we've - the rebellion -the fighting. You were just…"

"I don't want - I can't lose both of you, Daddy," she interrupted in a small voice.

Ranger gathered her into his arms and she clung to him like she did to Steph in the hospital. It had taken him, Tank and an orderly to pry her from Stephanie's body.

"You won't, baby. You won't. I'm not going anywhere. First thing in the morning I'll call the psychiatrist that Connie recommended."

"Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise!" he assured her emphatically. "You can be right there with me when I call, if you want."

She clung to him tighter; her tears soaked through his shirt.

"How long have you known?" He asked her after the sobbing subsided. "About the hallucinations?"

She wiped her nose on his shirt. "Since the beginning."

"Oh," Ranger said, suspecting as much. "Why didn't you - why didn't you say something sooner?"

Natalie inhaled deeply. "I-I was just-it was hard, Daddy, to see you that way. It made me feel scared and alone and in the beginning I was…I was jealous."

"Jealous?"

"I thought-I thought that she was a ghost and that she would only appear to you. I tried-I tried to get her to come to me too-and it didn't work."

Ranger thought back to all the nights he'd heard her crying. He had tried to comfort her but she wouldn't even let him inside her room most of the time.

He held her tighter, brushing her hair back from her face. "When did you know that she wasn't?" he asked gently.

Natalie sniffled again. "I think I always knew - I just wanted to believe something else."

Stephanie's earlier words whispered in his head. She had said something very similar to him regarding Joe. Apparently he and his daughter were more alike than he realized.

"You should have talked to me about it, baby. We could have-maybe we would never have let things get this bad between us." All the times he tried to get her to talk to him about her Mother, she shut him down faster than he could get a sentence out of his mouth.

"I know," she agreed quietly. "I wanted to-I really did-but it-it seemed not to hurt as much if I just pushed it away. It hurts so much, Daddy." Her tears began again and Ranger held her, his tears mixing and blending with hers.

"Yes it does."

"Will it ever get better?" she asked in a tiny voice.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I don't think we've even got a shot unless we can communicate and not just about this-about everything."

She nodded and clung tighter to his shirt.

"And you have to forgive me Natalie. You have to try to forgive me or we'll never move on from this point."

Natalie shook her head and pushed away from him slightly. She looked up with. "There's nothing to forgive. I don't blame you, Daddy."

Ranger looked at her with much skepticism.

"I did," she responded to the look. "I needed someone to blame. I needed it to be someone's fault, but I know it wasn't."

"It wasn't your fault," she repeated knowing that he indeed blamed himself. He always did when anything bad happened. When she was eight she fell skiing, breaking her leg, and somehow he had determined that it was all his fault.

"I'm trying really hard to believe that, kiddo." He was silent for a moment while he weighed his next question. In a way he wanted to avoid it completely, but if they were going to finally get everything out in the open, this had to be a part of it.

"And what about Joe? Do you still blame him?" Ranger asked her quietly.

Natalie swallowed hard as fresh tears welled again. "Do _you_?" she countered.

Ranger nodded and unable now to make his voice work he whispered, "Sometimes."

"Me too," she confessed quietly. "Sometimes I hate him so much that I can't see straight."

"Me too," Ranger parroted.

"Why couldn't he see her, Daddy?"

Ranger swallowed and shook his head. He'd asked the same thing of Joe a thousand times. Even as he stood and watched him almost destroy himself trying to save her, he asked the question.

Sometimes, he still asks.

"He tried his best. Even after we all knew she was gone, he kept trying." Ranger stopped and inhaled slowly, pushing away the image of Joe, with his hands on her chest, pumping up and down, trying to get her heart to start beating again.

"He-he loved her, didn't he?" Natalie queried softly.

Ranger wasn't surprised that she had drawn that conclusion. It was painfully obvious to anyone who knew Joe that he was in love with Stephanie.

"Yes," he answered simply. "It's how I knew-how I know that he did everything he could but in the end it didn't matter. It was her time to go. As hard as that is to accept, it was just her time." He paused for a moment. "I've gone over it a thousand times, asking myself what I could have said differently to convince her to wait for me, or to have one of the guys drive her home. I think if I would have kissed her one more time or said one more thing than she would be sitting here right now. If Joe had just left a second later, or taken another route home…"Ranger trailed off, resting his cheek on the top of his daughters head. A tear trailed from his eye down into her hair.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Natalie sniffled. "I'm sorry that I let things get so awful between us. I'm sorry that I didn't realize that you're hurting just as much as I am."

"I'm sorry too, baby," he squeezed her tighter to his side. "We've both screwed up, but we're going to have to learn how to function as a family -without her."

"How do we do that?"

Ranger released his iron grip on her and used both his hands to rub his face. "I don't know," he admitted. "I don't know how to be without her. I guess that's why-that's why I've been conjuring her up." He turned to her. "I'm sorry that I've scared you."

A small smile flitted across her face. "It's okay. I think-I think I understand."

Ranger nodded his head slowly and then reached up to push her hair behind her ear.

"I'm scared too, you know." He confessed.

"Of what?" She prompted.

" I'm scared that you'll never know how much I love you; That I won't be able to be the parent you need me to be and that you're too grown up to need me at all. I'm afraid that Nicky won't remember how wonderful his mother was and that you won't be around to help me tell him everything about her."

"Daddy?" she queried after a long silence.

"Yeah?"

"I'm afraid too."

"Of what?"

"I'm afraid that I'm starting to forget her." Tears flooded his daughter's eyes again and Ranger wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Your mother," he began, "liked to eat scrambled eggs with grape jelly on them and when she thought no one was around she would drink milk right out of the carton."

Natalie laughed a little and snuggled in closer to her father's side. "And her favorite movie was Ghost Busters, even though she told everyone that it was The Shawshank Redemption."

"That's right!" Ranger laughed too. "And when anyone was hurt or upset, she knew just what to say to make it better."

"She would drop everything she was doing just to listen to me ramble on about something that happened at school," Nat added.

Ranger nodded in agreement. "Just a glimpse of one of her smiles could get me out of the worst moods..."

A comfortable silence wasn't something they'd achieved in a very long time, but that was what they were experiencing now. The past months had put unimaginable stress on both of them until it reached the inevitable breaking point. And now, all talked out, the bridges burned between them beginning to rebuild, they sat together in silence, enjoying the comfort that the simple presence of the other brought.

Ranger absently ran his fingers through Natalie's hair. She was curled up on the couch, her head resting in his lap. It was a familiar scene to Ranger; he couldn't count the number of times she fell asleep like this when she was little. He'd missed it terribly.

"Nat?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you do something with me?"

She sat up, tucking her long dark hair behind her ears. "Sure."

########

* * *

"You're being ridiculous, Lula," Tank informed his wife and set his squirming son down on the floor. He watched as Drew ran off, chasing his sister through the living room.

"Ridiculous?" Lula scoffed. "They can't be in the same room for ten minutes without screaming. It's been four hours; they could have killed each other by now."

Tank shoved his hands in his pockets and watched as Bella poured eggnog down Drew's shirt. "They need this time to try and talk it out, why can't you just leave it alone?"

"I think she's right, Tank," Connie chimed in. "You should at least go over and check on them."

Tank sighed as his eyes rolled heavenward. There was no way he was going to win this one, not with Lula and Connie in agreement. "Fine," he grumbled. "You better go take that eggnog away from your daughter," he added as he headed for the front door.

"BELLA!" he heard Lula scream as he exited the house. He smirked as he closed the door. That's what she gets for butting into other people's business and not paying attention to her own kids.

He stood on the porch and inhaled the cool night air - or he stood stalling, as Lula would surely accuse him. His nose wrinkled when he caught a whiff of fresh cigarette smoke.

"How long have you been out here?" He asked into the darkness.

"A while."

Tank turned slowly until he could see Joe rocking deliberately in the glider that hangs on the left side of the porch.

"Does Connie know you're still smoking?"

Joe shrugged and took another long drag on his cigarette. The bright orange flare momentarily lit up his face.

Tank shuffled over and settled himself at the other end of the swing. It was severely unbalance now, because of his size.

"What are you doing out here?" Joe asked, turning his head to dispel the smoke.

Tank let out a long-suffering sigh. "Lula and Connie seem to think it's imperative that I go check on Ranger and Nat."

Joe stiffened visibly and then snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray resting on his lap. "They aren't here?"

Tank shook his head. "No," he answered slowly. "Ranger had Connie and Hal pick up Nicky so he and Natalie could talk."

"Oh." It was all he could think to say so he dug into the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He extracted another one and lit it.

They sat in silence, rocking slowly. "You should go inside," Tank finally said. "Everyone's been waiting for you."

Joe exhaled slowly, blowing the smoke away from Tank. "I can't," he said.

Tank shifted his weight and scratched his eyebrow absently with his pinky. "When are you going to stop beating yourself up about this, Joe?"

"When it stops being my fault, Tank," Joe snapped angrily.

Tank winced but plowed ahead. "It's not your fault, Joe. It was an accident."

Joe looked at him then, and even in the black of night, Tank could see the dark bruises circling his eyes. It was obviously from lack of sleep, but more than that, Tank knew it was Joe's own guilt and undoubtedly his own grief over the loss of Stephanie that was taking its toll on his friend.

"Do you know how hard it is to look into their faces and know you're the cause of the pain that's threatening to destroy them?" He asked quietly.

Tank swallowed hard around the lump forming in his throat. "No, I don't," he said softly and forced away the tears he felt rushing to the surface.

Joe averted his eyes and once again stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray.

"Did Tony show?" he asked abruptly changing the subject.

"No," Tank answered.

Joe laughed bitterly. "He probably thinks I'm here."

"You're fighting again?" Tank went along with the new topic, knowing he couldn't push the issue of Steph's death any further without running Joe off completely.

"It's an everyday occurrence. You better go before Lula figures out you're still here," Joe advised.

"Yeah. You're probably right," Tank agreed and pushed himself up off the swing.

He walked off the porch without looking at Joe but turned back when he was halfway down the front walk. "You should go in and get some eggnog before Bella wastes it all torturing her brother."

He watched as a rare smile tugged at Joe's lips. "I'll try," he replied and Tank nodded.

He knew Joe was lying, but it felt good to hear him say it anyway. And it was Christmas, the time for miracles, right?

He reached his car and slipped behind the wheel. Joe was still sitting in the swing when he drove off.

Tank pulled into Ranger's driveway less than fifteen minutes later and killed the engine. He made his way to the front door and yanked open the screen. He knocked on the thick wood door and waited.

There was no answer after a minute, so he tried the doorbell. Again, nothing.

He sighed, wanting to leave, but he knew what Lula and Connie would say if he went home with that news. He shook his head and tried the door. It was surprisingly unlocked so he pushed it open and let himself inside.

"Hello?" He called softly as he entered the house, not really wanting to interrupt a much-needed conversation between father and daughter.

He heard muffled voices coming from the back of the house and reluctantly followed the sound, cursing his wife along the way.

Tank stopped just short of announcing his presence when he discovered the scene in the family room.

"Here," Natalie handed Ranger a photograph. "This is a good one of Uncle Tank. He looks weird with hair."

Ranger took it from her, inspecting the print. "Ah yes. That was his ladies man phase. He thought that afro would get him a lot of chicks."

Natalie laughed and handed him another picture. "I see. And how many bottles of gel did it take you to get this slicked back look?" she asked wryly.

Ranger made a face. "I thought I destroyed all of these." He tried to tear it in half but Natalie snatched it quickly from his hands. "Oh, no you don't. This one is going right here." She tacked it up next to the one of Tank and his giant hair.

"Is that right?" Ranger challenged. "Then this one of you, naked in the tub, is going right here." He added the picture of a two-year-old Natalie getting a bath up on the wall.

"Daddy!" she protested, planting her hands on her hips.

Ranger smiled at his daughter.

Stephanie always did that when she was frustrated with him. As Natalie stood there, she looked exactly like her mother. Ranger drew her into a hug abruptly, holding her tightly. "I love you, Nat." He whispered gently.

"I love you too, Daddy."

Tank felt tears rushing to his eyes for the second time in under an hour. He slowly backed away from the room, making his way silently out of the house.

He dug his phone out of his jacket as he climbed back into his car.

Lula picked up after a half a ring. "Well?" she demanded.

"They're fine," Tank answered. "I'm coming back."

"Fine? How fine?" Lula continued. "I mean, like they haven't killed each other yet fine, or -"

Tank hung up on his wife and tucked his phone back into his pocket. He turned the engine over, backed out of the driveway and headed home.

A smile lit his face the entire way.

###########

* * *

"She still wouldn't come, huh?" Connie asked as she adjusted her gloves.

Ranger zipped up his ski jacket. "No," he replied slowly. "She said it would be too hard without-without Steph."

Connie nodded. The annual ski trip had always been Stephanie's favorite. "But you two talked about everything?"

"Yeah," Ranger confirmed and pulled the hat Natalie knitted for him the previous year down over his ears. "I think we're going to be okay."

"Of course you are," Lula jumped into the conversation. "Didn't I tell you that you would be?"

Connie and Ranger rolled their eyes in unison.

"Are we going to ski sometime today?" Tank wanted to know. His ski boots clomped on the floor as he trudged into the room. "Hal and the kids have already been out there for half an hour.

"All right," Lula muttered, "don't get your tighty whitey's in a twist. We're coming."

The front door of the cabin burst open and everyone turned and stared at the silhouettes in the doorframe.

"Um, Natalie asked me to bring her up. That's okay, isn't it?" Joe asked tentatively.

Ranger blinked, not quite able to believe that she was really there. "Of course," he finally blurted. "We were just about to hit the first slope."

Nat smiled at her father. "Great. I'm going to go change." She took her bag from Joe and headed for the bedrooms. "Dad?" She stopped and turned back to him.

"Yeah?"

"Will you wait for me?"

Tears flooded Ranger's eyes blurring his vision. "Always."

Connie, Lula, and even Tank stood watching father and daughter with smiles plastered to their faces. Now everything was how it should be. _Almost._

Joe shut the door and they all turned at the sound. They had temporarily forgotten he was there. He stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say. Natalie had insisted that he stay and ski with them, but now he was having serious second thoughts about agreeing.

"I uh- I…"

"You're staying, right?" Ranger prompted.

Joe brushed at the snowflakes peppering his jacket and then finally looked up. "Um, yeah-I mean, if-if it's all right with everyone."

"We kept the loft empty for you," Lula said in response.

"C'mon," she muttered, shoving Connie and Tank. "Let's go. We'll meet you up at Dragon Run." She winked at Joe on her way out the door. Tank added a slap on the back and Connie stopped and hugged him briefly before following Tank and Lula out.

The door closed behind her and Joe and Ranger were face to face.

"Are you sure?" Joe asked, his gaze not wavering from Ranger's.

"Yeah," Ranger answered simply and without hesitation.

Joe nodded and hefted his bag over his shoulder. Natalie came out from the bedroom and both men turned to look at her.

"Ready?" she asked, securing her long hair into a ponytail.

"Don't wait for me," Joe said and headed for the loft.

Ranger's breath caught in his throat at the site of her. She was wearing the ski suit he had bought for Stephanie on their very first trip.

"You don't mind, do you?" She asked hesitantly.

"No," he whispered. "You look beautiful."

"Do you think Mom would mind?"

"Not even a little."

She smiled then and ran her hand down the dark red sleeve. "It won't be the same," she said looking up again.

"No," Ranger agreed.

"Do you think she's watching us?"

"Yes," Ranger nodded. "I do."

"Let's go." Natalie took her father's hand and led him to the door.

Ranger followed her out and as he was pulling the door closed behind them, he saw Stephanie standing next to the fireplace.

She blew him a kiss and then slowly faded into nothingness.

The End

######

* * *

**Epilogue  
**

"Mr. Manoso - I was fairly surprised to see your name in my appointment book after all this time. I thought we came to the conclusion that you no longer required my services."

Ranger lowered himself onto the familiar couch and stretched his long legs out over the deep navy leather. "You came to that conclusion, Doc. And it's Ranger, remember? I feel old when you call me Mr. Manoso."

Dr. Robbins smiled and casually said, "Well, you certainly aren't a spring chicken."

Ranger narrowed his eyes, but couldn't help being a little bit proud. "I've taught you well, grasshopper," he conceded and leaned back, propping the ever-present fluffy pillow underneath his head.

She chuckled and settled her elbows on her desk, resting her head in her hands. Ranger had always been one of her favorite patients. When he no longer needed her, she'd found herself more than a little melancholy. Not that she would ever admit that to him.

"So what brings you in?" She cut right to the chase, fighting the urge to just sit and banter with him.

He was silent for a moment, staring up at the ceiling. "I saw her yesterday."

She didn't need to ask whom, she simply stood up and moved to the chair next to the couch, his file in her hands.

When she settled in, he continued. "At least, I thought I saw her."

"And that means?"

He sighed and tucked his hands behind his head. "I was walking into Pino's for lunch, like I always do, and when I was about ten feet from the door I saw a woman standing near the tables out front. She was wearing jeans and Doc Martins and her long brown hair hung down her back in a mass of riotous curls. She turned around and smiled and I nearly died right there in the parking lot."

Dr. Robbins heart turned over in her chest. She had never met anyone who loved like Ranger. When he talked about Stephanie she could literally feel how he felt about her. Even after all this time with him, the intensity of it still shocked her. It was like all the air was being sucked out of the room. She tried to take a deep breath and flipped through her notes, looking for something in particular.

"Go on," she urged when he was silent.

"It was _that_ smile, you know?"

She knew it well. Ranger had described it in detail on more than one occasion. The smile that made him very literally weak in the knees.

"Yes," Dr. Robbins nodded. "I know."

"But then I blinked, and it was just some random woman."

"I see," she said and scribbled in the back of his file.

"I'm broken again, Doc. Fix me up."

She smiled. That had been the first thing he'd said to her when they began these sessions six years before. He strolled into her office like the most casual man on earth, sat down on the couch and said: I'm broken, fix me up.

She looked back through her notes and found what she had been searching for. "Yesterday was the anniversary of her death," she said gently.

Ranger frowned and scratched his eyebrow. "Yeah, so?"

"So it's possible that your mind subconsciously conjured up her image as a gentle reminder."

He scoffed. "I don't need a subconscious reminder -it would be impossible to forget." He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to push back the grief that had rushed suddenly to the surface. "Besides," he continued, "I didn't see her last year, or the year before that. In fact, it's been almost two years since I've had any hallucinations at all."

"Mmm…." Dr. Robbins scribbled some more notes.

"Uh, actual words would be good here." Ranger quipped.

"How is your relationship with Natalie?" She changed the subject.

Ranger groaned and covered his face with his hands.

"Not good, I take it?"

He peeked out at her from between his fingers. "What makes you say that?" he asked.

She laughed, "Oh, I don't know. Instinct?"

Ranger sighed loudly and removed his hands. "No, actually things are good. It's – it's almost like it use to be," he admitted.

"But…"

"But….she wants to get _married_." He said the last word with barely disguised disgust.

Dr. Robbins cleared her throat, trying to stifle a laugh.

"I assume to, "she flipped through her notes "Tony?"

"I thought I asked you to never say that name out loud."

"As much as we'd both enjoy it, it just takes too long to say 'the tattooed freak' sorry."

Ranger sighed in frustration. "Fine. Toooonnny." He drew out the name with as much contempt as he could manage.

Dr. Robbins laughed then, unable to contain it. "Now, I distinctly remember you admitting that he wasn't such a bad kid."

"That was before he asked to marry my baby girl," Ranger grumbled.

"He actually asked?"

"Yeah. I see I'm not the only one who was surprised by that."

"What was your answer?"

He turned his head and looked at her. "What do you think?"

She flipped through her notes again and continued scribbling. "That must have been hard."

"I think you've just uttered the understatement of the year, Doc."

She laughed, "I suppose so. How long have they been engaged?"

"Almost a year."

"That's good. They aren't rushing into it."

"Yeah, but she's only twenty three. Waaay too young to get married."

Dr. Robbins smirked. "She's an adult, so you really don't have any say in the matter."

Ranger sat up and gave his shrink the evil eye. "Why does everyone have to keep reminding me of that?"

She laughed. "What about Nicky?"

"Oh no," Ranger shook his head. "It's Nick now."

"When did this start?"

"On his tenth birthday. He said something about being too grown up to answer to such a baby name." Ranger rubbed his chin and let out a sad sigh. "I feel -I just feel -I don't know what I feel," he admitted and let his hand drop to his lap.

"It sounds to me like you're suffering from Empty Nest Syndrome," Dr. Robins wrote the diagnosis in his file.

He leaned back against the cushions, eyeing her skeptically. "Empty _what_ syndrome?"

"Empty Nest."

"Is that a technical term?"

"Yes, actually it is. It's quite common, especially in parents of your age."

Both of his eyebrows rose in silent question.

"When children grow up, move out of the house and start families of their own, a lot of parents experience Empty Nest Syndrome-feelings of sadness or even grief that their not needed any more. In your case, Natalie is getting ready to get married and even Nick is getting older and not needing you as much as he use to."

Ranger crossed his arms over his chest, contemplating her diagnosis. He exhaled slowly. "Nah, that's not it," he deadpanned.

Dr. Robbins burst into laughter.

Ranger smirked; he could always make her laugh. "Yeah, you're probably right," he agreed. "They're growing up so fast," he added wistfully.

"Kids tend to do that."

He nodded. "Too fast," he said and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. They were growing up so fast and Stephanie was missing it. That was the part he hated the most.

"You know what might help alleviate the symptoms?"

"What's that?" Ranger asked, lifting his head to look at her.

She hesitated a moment, knowing how bringing up the topic last time upset him. "Have you given any more thought to dating?" she asked tentatively.

Ranger rolled his eyes. "No. But surprisingly that hasn't stopped my friends from trying to set me up."

"Connie, or Lula?"

"Both," Ranger sighed. "They're like some sort of obsessed match making tag team."

Dr. Robbins laughed. "Well, I'm still standing by my original suggestion that it would be beneficial for you."

Ranger shook his head. "No offense to your expert opinion, but it's no good for me. It wouldn't be fair to try to be with someone who could never be more than second best. I couldn't do that to anyone."

Dr. Robbins shook her head; there he went again, sucking all the air out of the room. "I know you're going to be disappointed, but your session is up."

"Already?" He checked his watch. "Time flies when you're spilling all your dark, dirty secrets."

She laughed and closed his file.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a good listener?" Ranger quipped.

"Maybe a couple of times," she retorted.

"All right, I'm outta here." He stood up and made his way to the door.

"Do you want to make another appointment?" she asked as he swung the door open.

He stopped, a hand on the doorknob. "Not today," he said at length.

Dr. Robbins smiled as she settled back into the chair behind her desk. "Ranger," she called when he was through the door.

He turned around in expectation.

"You're not broken," she told him. "Just damaged a bit."

He nodded, smiling. "Yeah, but irreparably."

"Perhaps," she agreed.

"Later Doc," he said and closed the door.

_**The End**_


End file.
